What a therapist-in-training learned about rejection that every college student needs to hear
Picture this: You’ve spent years preparing for your moment. You’ve studied, practiced, and finally arrived at the threshold of your dreams. Then… nobody shows up.
As a graduate student in psychotherapy completing my practicum, I recently faced weeks without new clients. That empty waiting room became an unexpected mirror, reflecting back every insecurity I thought I’d outgrown. Sound familiar? Whether you’re waiting for responses to internship applications, sitting in an empty club meeting you organized, or refreshing your email hoping for that research opportunity—we all know this particular brand of silence.
The Spiral We All Know Too Well
When external validation disappeared, my mind went into overdrive. Maybe I’m not cut out for this. Maybe I don’t look professional enough. Maybe the world chooses people who are more attractive, more confident, more… everything I’m not.
If you’re in college or university right now, you might recognize this spiral. It’s the same one that starts when:
- Your study group picks someone else’s idea
- The professor doesn’t call on you despite your raised hand
- Your crush leaves you on read
- The job posting gets 500 applicants, and you’re applicant 501
The Achievement Trap
Here’s what made it worse: I’m the first in my family to pursue a master’s degree. I’m juggling kids, family responsibilities, and this program. On paper, I should feel accomplished. But achievements become surprisingly hollow when you’re sitting in an empty office, wondering if you’ve made a terrible mistake.
Sound familiar? You got into university—huge achievement. You’re passing your classes—another win. Maybe you’re working part-time, managing loans, navigating family expectations. Yet somehow, when that one thing doesn’t work out, all those accomplishments evaporate like they never happened.
The Plot Twist: Your Thoughts Are Lying to You
Here’s what I discovered in those quiet, client-free hours: My emotional spiral wasn’t about reality—it was about the story I was telling myself. Psychologists call this the cognitive-behavioral principle: thoughts trigger emotions, not events. The empty appointment book was just an empty appointment book. The devastation I felt? That was all me.
For students, this might look like:
- “Nobody came to my presentation” becomes “I’m boring and have nothing valuable to say”
- “I didn’t get the internship” becomes “I’ll never succeed in this field”
- “My group chat is quiet” becomes “Nobody actually likes me”
The Curiosity Cure
My supervisor asked me a game-changing question: “What if you approached this with curiosity instead of criticism?”
What if, instead of Why am I such a failure? I asked:
- What is this experience teaching me?
- What assumptions am I making?
- How might this struggle prepare me for future challenges?
From Self-Roasting to Self-Compassion
I started a simple practice: documenting daily accomplishments. Not the Instagram-worthy ones—the real ones:
- Showed up to supervision despite feeling inadequate
- Practiced therapeutic techniques even without clients
- Chose growth over giving up
For students, this might mean celebrating:
- Attending class when your anxiety says stay in bed
- Asking for help when everything feels overwhelming
- Submitting that assignment even though it’s not “perfect”
- Choosing to try again after rejection
The Universal Truth Nobody Tells You
Here’s what they don’t put in university brochures: Every successful person you admire has sat in their own version of an empty waiting room. Every professor, every CEO, every therapist has wondered if they’re fooling everyone. The difference? They learned to transform self-doubt into self-discovery.
My empty client schedule taught me something no textbook could: Professional worth—like personal worth—can’t be measured by external metrics. It’s built through showing up, reflecting honestly, and treating yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a friend.
Your Empty Waiting Room
What’s your empty waiting room right now? Where are you waiting for external validation that might never come—or might come when you least expect it?
Maybe it’s:
- The leadership position you didn’t get
- The party invitation that didn’t arrive
- The grade that didn’t reflect your effort
- The relationship that didn’t work out
- The opportunity that went to someone else
The Practice Forward
Here’s my challenge to you:
- Name your spiral: What story does your brain tell when things don’t go as planned?
- Get curious: What if this experience is preparing you for something you can’t yet see?
- Document the real wins: What did you do today that required courage, even if nobody noticed?
- Practice self-compassion: Talk to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend facing the same situation.
The Plot Twist Ending
Weeks later, clients started arriving. But here’s the thing—I was no different than during those empty weeks. What changed was my relationship with uncertainty. I’d learned that my worth wasn’t determined by who walked through my door, but by my willingness to keep showing up.
“Sometimes the universe gives us an empty waiting room not because we’re lacking, but because we need the quiet space to hear our own worth.”
diljeet
Your worth isn’t determined by who texts back, what opportunities come through, or how many likes you get. It’s built in those quiet moments when you choose curiosity over criticism, growth over giving up, and self-compassion over self-destruction.
The empty waiting room? It’s not a rejection—it’s a reflection. And sometimes, that reflection shows us exactly what we need to see: that we’re enough, exactly as we are, even when nobody’s watching.
Remember: If you’re struggling with persistent feelings of self-doubt or depression, reach out to your campus counselling center. Everyone needs support sometimes, and seeking help is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
